The circumstances surrounding the release of The Midnight Meat Train have already catapulted the movie into cult classic status. After being advertised as a regular horror film for Lionsgate, the movie was eventually released in only 100 theaters across the country and delayed past its original release date. These behind-the-scenes moves gave the film more attention than it probably would have received normally and succeeded in generating some effective online buzz. Surprisingly, it actually lived up to the hype.

The Midnight Meat Train
Director: Ryuhei Kitamura
Starring: Bradley Cooper, Leslie Bibb, Vinnie Jones


Let's just take a second and remember how awesome it was to hear the late Don LaFontaine say this film's title at the end of the trailer. I've heard that guy utter a lot of movie titles, but no other title has caused this much audible laughter in a theater.



Ridiculous title and strange release circumstances aside, The Midnight Meat Train was actually a competent and well-constructed horror film. I know - I was shocked also. The direction was impressive, the cinematography was ethereal and evocative, and the actors (little known as they are) were up to the task of making the best movie they could. Sometimes with horror films like this, you can tell that the actors cash in their performances because they know the movie isn't going to be worth it in the end - this time, you could tell that the director really concentrated on getting the best performances possible from his actors.


Bradley Cooper stars as Leon, a photographer who yearns to capture the gritty essence of the city. His girlfriend Maya (Leslie Bibb) is supportive while she works in a crappy diner, waiting on him to hit the big time and sell his photos so they can get enough money to get married. The problem comes when Leon follows the wrong dude (Vinnie Jones) on the subway one night, discovering a secret that he wasn't supposed to uncover. Cooper in particular stood out as surprisingly fun to watch in this movie because most viewers will know him as the ultra-douche villian Zack from Wedding Crashers. He does a complete 180 here and plays a likable (if not obsessive) protagonist that you can't help but pull for, even though he makes some stupid mistakes along the way. And Leslie Bibb definitely steps up her acting from the ditzy blonde she portrayed in Talladega Nights, proving that she easily join the ranks of other actresses in her age group that can play decent roles but not quite carry a film on her own just yet.


I can't say much about this film without ruining some interesting (if not completely original) plot twists, but I would definitely recommend The Midnight Meat Train to fans of the genre. It's refreshing to see an Asian director not have anything to do with Sarah Michelle Gellar or black-haired children in a horror film. Ryuhei Kitamura, the director of Godzilla: Final Wars, made his American debut with TMMT, and I hope he sticks around for a while. There's a shortage of well-crafted horror movies out there today, and I think this guy has the chops to bring us a few more. The movie promised to be gory and violent and didn't hold back when it came to the brutality; my favorite shot in the film was from the POV of a victim whose head gets knocked off with a meat tenderizer - but the camera acts as if it's inside her head, spinning around after impact and landing on the ground nearby only to see her own body lying on the floor. It was a rewardingly original idea that I've never come across before, and proved to be one of the coolest parts of the movie.


Vinnie Jones, best known for his bit parts in Guy Ritchie's British gangster flicks, utters only one word as the mysterious Butcher during the course of the film. Honestly, that one word wasn't even necessary. He does his best work looking menacing and being silent, and as much of an insult as that may be, it's also a compliment to his physical stature and haunting presence. Casting directors, take note - this guy needs to be in more movies.

If you're in the mood for some above-average suspense or just want to boost your film geek cred like I did, check out The Midnight Meat Train. The ending may leave you a little confused on how they got there, but give it some credit - at least it didn't go for the boring ending. (This whole movie was based on a short story by The Master of Horror, Clive Barker; it actually reminded me more of an old episode of "The Twilight Zone.") Until next time...

I can remember the last second of Transporter 2 and how excited I was for the sequel. Well, it's here - and as an undeniable fan of this franchise, I'll sadly be the first to tell you that Transporter 3 not only kind of sucked, but that it's probably not even worth your time at all. You would think a guy named "Olivier Megaton" could direct a good action movie.

Transporter 3
Director: Olivier Megaton
Starring: Jason Statham, Red-Haired Chick


This series has been known for its outlandish stunts, questionable acting, ludicrous plots, spectacular driving, terrible female characters, and awesome fight sequences. It's with a heavy heart that I tell you the filmmakers took this pre-existing formula and tossed the ingredients in a bad movie blender - the end result is way too cliche and doesn't nearly possess the right amount of brazen ridiculousness to make up for it. The elements that stood out as negatives of past installments (the useless Inspector with the maple-syrup-thick accent, awful dialogue, etc) are on display in full force here, and the aspects that make this series truly great seem to have fallen off faster than Statham's shirt in a fight scene.


Jason Statham returns as Frank Martin, the transporter whose set of rules separated him from others in his line of work in the previous two films. This time around, he breaks nearly every one of his rules for seemingly no reason at all - he seems flustered and emotional here, not like the calculating Martin we've known in the past. Obviously, no blame can be put on Statham here; it's the script that's the problem, but we knew that from the get-go. As implied above, you don't go to a Transporter movie for realism or drama. You go for the kick-ass factor which was sorely missed here. Statham was competent as always when it came to his hand-to-hand fight sequences, but the lack of meaningful car chases made it seem like anyone could have been driving his now-iconic Audi across Europe. Also, the gimmick to this one was that Statham couldn't get further than 75 feet away from his car or else his bracelet would explode. Sounds a little too much like Crank, guys - let's try to come up with something original next time.


Joining him this time around is without a doubt the most worthless and annoying character I've come across in 2008: Valentina, a red-haired Ukrainian whose broken English and vapid attitude was the cause of much dismay throughout our theater. In this character, the dialogue reached it's low point for the series. Inexplicably, she had a propensity to list random foods that she desired for mind-numbing lengths of time (the editors should be shot). The film also fell victim to a familiar case of "I've known you for a day but now I'm madly in love with you" disease, this time with a nasty Ukrainian aftertaste. She had very few (if any) redeeming qualities, and nagged our usually stoic transporter into disappointing submission. At one point, she implied that he was gay (a standard assumption by film critics), but then he had his way with her to prove he wasn't. I honestly would have preferred if Frank had just admitted to being gay, shoved her out of the car, and continued on his way to more action scenes. I guess that would have broken his perfect delivery record, but every other rule was broken at random in this movie, so why not that one too?

The thing that pissed me off the most about this movie was that somewhere among the nonsense, they had the makings of a really solid storyline. One of the plot points revolved around another up-and-coming transporter that Statham suggests to the villain (who was so bad, I'm not mentioning him again) early on in the movie's timeline. The idea that there are different types of transporters and seeing Frank interact with them is such a promising concept; perhaps the fourth one (if they make one) could be about the transporters competing for some sort of high profile job. It was cool in this one to see Frank as the mentoring transporter, the veteran who passes off unwanted jobs to the younger generation. If only they could have explored this angle more instead of concentrating on that inarticulate French police inspector, then this might have rivaled the second as the best film in the franchise.

There were flashes of brilliance to be found in Transporter 3, but as a whole they couldn't compare to the epic insanity of Transporter 2. The BMX bike scene () was by far the crowd-pleasing favorite; he was one step away from pulling moves like these.



There were also a couple of car moves that can't be ignored, like crashing through the back of a moving train car after crashing through a guardrail to land on top of the train in the first place. Once again, none of these moves could compare to the awe-inspiring scene from the second one in which Frank removes a bomb from the bottom of his car in the . And while the act of driving on two wheels is certainly impressive, we've already seen it before: in a Bond movie (Branz, help me out with this one?) and, if I remember correctly, in Last Action Hero.


I liked this more than I should have because of Statham's presence and simply the fact that it was another Transporter movie on the big screen, but I wouldn't recommend it to people other than huge fans of the series. Unfortunately, even those will be left unfulfilled. Until next time...

The new Bond movie is out after a two year wait, and there's a lot to mention about it. Spoilers abound, so take that into consideration as you read on.

Quantum of Solace
Director: Marc Forster
Starring: Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Mathieu Amalric, Dame Judi Dench


Quantum of Solace picks up an hour after the events of Casino Royale, which makes it the first direct sequel in Bond history. The story follows 007 as he tries to track down members of Quantum, the organization that was ultimately responsible for the death of Vesper Lynd, his love interest from the last film. Let me say this: after watching Casino Royale, I didn't really get why Bond was so into Vesper. She didn't seem that special to me, and it was hard for me to fathom how the international super-spy that we all are so familiar with would be willing to give everything up to be with this girl that he seemingly barely knew. On subsequent viewings of the movie, however, my opinion on Vesper has changed. I think I was so blinded by the new incarnation of Bond that I didn't let myself see their relationship for what is was - the key element to the character of the new Bond. Remember, back in Royale, Bond wasn't yet the "Bond" that we are accustomed to - he just recently gained "00" status and therefore it wouldn't be that much of a stretch to assume that he could give it up to be with a woman since he hadn't really gotten into his career yet. Vesper's betrayal at the end took a chunk out of Bond's soul, challenging his perspective on life and making him a better agent because of it. Quantum of Solace is a showcase for how Bond deals with those feelings; his most important motivation is doing what he has to in order to free himself from Vesper, who haunts his memory.

Plot-wise, the story left a little to be desired for me. The actual title of the movie* comes from a short story in "For Your Eyes Only," but the events of the movie have nothing to do with the events of that story. It's pretty obvious that is the case, since the film is fused with the ever-topical environmentalism theme that seems to be ripping through movies recently (WALL*E, The Happening, The Day The Earth Stood Still, etc). The shadowy members of Quantum, we discover, are hoarding the Bolivian water supply to sell at a ridiculously high price to the newly inserted government officials. In the scheme of things, there are worse Bond plots to be found (Die Another Day, Tomorrow Never Dies), but it seemed like the writers could have gone the extra mile and thrown some originality in there. I will give them credit for the climactic scene in the explosively unstable eco-hotel in the desert, though - I've never seen that before, so that kind of creativity should be rewarded. Thank God they didn't go with what was originally in the script, though - Vesper had a kid that Bond found out about. We all know how what happens when you bring children into movies: Superman Returns.


Daniel Craig returns as the Bond of today - "damaged goods" as Mr. Greene calls him - and I thought he was a little more heartless in this one than his previous performance. Bond kills people left and right in QoS; going so far as to use an old friend as a personal bullet shield, throw his body in a dumpster, and take the money from his wallet. I'm not saying those actions weren't practical, but dude - show a little emotion about it. The lack of one-liners and the humor of the movies of yesteryear leaves the audience a little concerned with this James Bond, almost to the point where he's unnervingly stoic while he does his job. I guess he probably put himself into "emotionless mode" to get the job done and get revenge for Vesper's death, but even so, Craig's Bond is definitely more callous than previous versions.


Ah yes, the Bond girls. The impossibly gorgeous Olga Kurylenko plays Camille, a one-dimensional character bent on getting revenge for her family's death. Her mission mirrors Bond's, and the two of them sped through the film on a quest for their individual redemptions. She didn't really do much for me, but then again most Bond women don't have prominent motives or solid storylines to work with (effective, yes. Solid, no). Gemma Arterton plays the lovely Strawberry Fields, whose first name is never mentioned on screen. A MI6 agent sent to recover Bond from Boliva, Fields is the eye candy that Bond seduces, but her screen time was cut tragically short due to a Goldfinger-inspired death. Instead of being covered in pure gold, Fields is killed by Quantum members who drowned her in oil and left her for Bond to discover. All said and done, nothing to write home about with these ladies, except that Arterton will be starring alongside Jake Gyllenhaal in the upcoming Prince of Persia: Sands of Time movie. I think it goes without saying that Judi Dench was awesome as M, a pattern that doesn't look like it will be broken any time soon.


QoS is the shortest Bond movie ever made, but they certainly didn't skimp on the action. In fact, I might go as far as to say that there was too much action in it, almost to an unnecessary degree. When you've got James Bond swinging from ropes like something out of The Musketeer just to fill some time, there's probably something wrong. They shouldn't have to resort to that. Just keep it simple - car chase, jumping out of an airplane, ramping a motorbike onto a boat, exploding hotel...that's not enough for you guys? And the Bourne style of editing was on full display for a few of those scenes, throwing frames at us and expecting us to be able to put it together in our heads without showing much of anything in the process.


Marc Forster, director of such films as Finding Neverland and Stranger Than Fiction, took over for Martin Campbell in the director's chair this time around. You can tell that they wanted someone with a more "artsy" background to direct this one because Bond's character was supposed to be the main focus, and Forster made his mark known with a couple of strangely cut scenes during the movie. The intercutting of a horse race and an opera scene right in the middle of a chase scene and a gunfight (respectively) seemed more distracting than effective; Bond movies aren't high brow entertainment - those kinds of things aren't needed. You know what WAS needed? More Felix Leiter. His character is criminally underused in these movies, and his presence in this one was confusing and unclear. Have him team up with Bond and do some action of his own in the next one.


Technologically speaking, the movie followed Casino Royale's lead by not featuring excessive amounts of gadgets. The one really cool thing was at MI6, they had a computer interface that was a massive touch screen similar to that in Minority Report. You've seen it, so you know what I'm talking about. I thought that whole sequence was really cool, from being able to connect to the phone system, to having Bond's voice recognized into a search engine (when he said "Greene," he said "G-R-Double-E-N-E" and the computer changed a "W" to a "EE" because it anticipated what he was saying and corrected itself). Funny part is, we're not that far from that technology today.


The ending to QoS was a little more closed off than the open-ended finale to Casino Royale. Bond leaves Vesper's boyfriend alive (after killing most everyone else throughout the movie) and I think the reason he did this was because he was able to warn the guy's new conquest. Bond told the female Canadian agent this guy's whole game plan, saving her from Vesper's fate and finding a little bit of redemption for himself in the process. The ending shot (Bond dropping Vesper's old necklace into the snow as he walks away) gives closure that he's done with this chapter of his life. I applaud the film for not stretching this storyline out into three movies, because that would cheapen this movie by itself (anyone who watched the second Pirates knows what I'm talking about), and this one doesn't feel like a wasted setup to a third film. It definitely doesn't tie up every loose end (Mr. White is still out there, along with the whole Quantum organization), so that leaves some promise for a third picture when that comes out in a few years. Since Quantum of Solace already holds the record for the highest Bond opening of all time in theaters, I'm sure that a sequel isn't too far away. Until next time...

*In case you're still wondering what the heck "Quantum of Solace" really means, Daniel Craig might be able to clear it up for you. He says "Bond is looking for his quantum of solace and that's what he wants, he wants his closure. Ian Fleming says that if you don't have a quantum of solace in your relationship, then the relationship is over...Bond doesn't have that because his girlfriend has been killed, and therefore he is looking for revenge to make himself happy with the world again."

By Guest Writer Alan Trehern

I just heard word Ben is on some type of secret mission for the government. He won't be around for the next couple of days, and your cell phone may self-destruct if you try to contact him. In lieu of that information, he bequeathed to me the honor of picking Week 5's Actor of the Week.

I thought about picking a female actress, but then I remembered I dated a number of them, and picking one over the other just isn't fair. Instead, I went to the man who has pretty much shaped me into 67% of who I am today...

Week 5 -
Born Marion Robert Morrison in 1907, the Duke has starred in over a hundred films, a majority of them as the leading role. Mostly known for his character in westerns, Wayne also played gritty military men (The Green Berets, They Were Expendable) as well as a lovable toughman (The Quiet Man). He is best recognized for his work with director John Ford, who placed the Duke in great western epics like the "Calvary Trilogy" (Fort Apache, She Wore a Yellow Ribbon and Rio Grande), The Searchers and 3 Godfathers. His best work, in my opinion, was done in the B-movies of the 1940s, 50s and 60s. Movies like El Dorado, The Fighting Kentuckian and Big Jake may have not hit it big in the theaters, but they get huge playtime on TV. Back in the day, every weekend a John Wayne Classic Theater would come on and show an adventure with the Duke. Thankfully, I grew up with Wayne classics too.

John Wayne may have been one of the greatest actors of all time, and I'm prepared to take a back-lashing of reeds to say he IS the best. Wayne was finally recognized as the Best Actor with his Academy Award in 1969 for his character of Rooster Cogburn in True Grit, whose hooting exclamations can still be heard in our house. Unfortunately, cancer beat the Duke over the years, costing him a lung, four ribs and his life in 1979. But his image and strong character live on in his movies and in his admirers. Here's to you, Duke.

Guy Ritchie's newest British gangster film is pretty much exactly what indicates - a wild "in-too-far" story that features different sects of the London underground with ridiculously-named characters. This is the return (thankfully) of the Ritchie we once knew.
Writer/Director: Guy Ritchie

The cool part was the announcement of a sequel was attached to the ending title slide, listing a few characters names and saying that they will return in The Real RockNRolla. I've heard this was a planned trilogy, with the third in the series being called RockNRolla Suicide. If the others are just as good as this one, then I'll be pleased. Give this a shot if you're in the mood for a good crime flick or you've got a hankering to hear some intense British accents. Until next time...

It's time for another retrospective movie review here at BMR. When the topic of 90's action movies arises, Point Break should definitely be mentioned near the top of the list. Sure, there's the requisite Van Damme and Seagal flicks that held that decade together, but putting the unlikely team of Keanu Reeves, Gary Busey, and Patrick Swayze in this 1991 flick makes for one of the most over-the-top action spectacles you'll ever behold.

Point Break
Director: Kathryn Bigelow
Starring: Keanu Reeves, Gary Busey, Patrick Swayze, John C. McGinley


A quick plot reminder if it's been a while (and yes, there will be SPOILERS from here on out): Johnny Utah (Reeves) and Angelo Pappas (Busey) are FBI agents trying to bring down a group of bank robbers that wear plastic masks of old presidents when they rob banks. Pappas' theory is that the group is comprised of surfers, and since surfers are notoriously territorial, they decide to send Utah in undercover to try to find the crew that's responsible. Utah learns to surf and gets into a relationship with a girl named Tyler (Lori Petty), who introduces him to Bodhi (Swayze) and his group of spiritual surfers on a quest for the ultimate ride.


It's been well-documented that I'm not the biggest fan of Patrick Swayze. Point Break proves that there is an exception to every rule - Swayze (though his character is about as one-dimensional as they come) plays zen-surf-guru Bodhi to perfection. His wild eyes, calm demeanor, and laid-back delivery accent an impressive physical performance [1]. Speaking of delivery, Keanu Reeves gives one of the most impressively stilted character renditions that I can remember. While some may scoff and consider this "bad acting," I find it extremely enjoyable for some reason - probably because I just like watching people who take themselves too seriously. Reeves' Johnny Utah is the hotshot rookie archetype, but Keanu brings a surprising depth to the role. When Utah realizes that Bodhi and his boys are actually The Ex-Presidents, he struggles internally with the decision to bring them to justice. Over the past few weeks, he has become their friend; Bodhi has shown him the true meaning to surfing and the impressionable rookie's life has been changed because of it. This is no longer a job for him - Johnny Utah has been converted, baptized in the ocean and shown a new kind of freedom that's inches away from the moral line that he's been walking his whole life. Watching Reeves battle with this realization is one of the better parts of this movie [2].


The supporting cast was solid but stereotypical. Gary Busey (before he ) was competent and entertaining as the bumbling elder Agent Pappas, and the presence of John C. "Dr. Cox" McGinley as their perpetually yelling bureau chief was a breath of fresh air that could have easily gone stagnant with another less capable actor.

I'm too lazy to go back and look any of this up, but as far as action movies go, I think Point Break was pretty innovative. The skydiving scene with Reeves jumping out of the plane without a parachute has been copied (intentionally or not) many times since. This is really the first "extreme sports" action movie out there, setting the "good guy goes undercover but gets too caught up in the game" template for plots like The Fast and The Furious, , and (just to name a few). On a personal note, I've seen so many action movies that it's hard to keep tabs on which came out first and what plot devices were borrowed from what - if you watch Point Break today, you'll be hard pressed to find a scene that you haven't seen in another movie. Also adding to this factor is the film's status as an action movie staple, lovingly embraced in the film (see it) so much that half of that film is based on characters reacting as if they were in Point Break.


Cinematically speaking, Point Break is always moving. Whether it be the camera work (even in conversations the camera is slowly tracking back and forth on the actors), the fast-paced editing (there are very few boring scenes), or the well-choreographed shootouts and fight sequences, this movie gives you what you want to see. The only time it slows down is when it slows WAY down for super slo-mo shots of surfing (trust me, there are plenty). And while the plot isn't the most original thing you've ever seen, the ending (however cheesy) is one of my favorite parts. Utah has chased Bodhi across the world always a step behind, but knows exactly where he'll be at a certain time - the 50 Year Storm in Bells Beach, Australia. After a scuffle on the shore while the waves swell to gigantic proportions, Bodhi pleads with Johnny to let him go out and catch one final wave instead of being taken into federal custody. Utah, sympathetic to Bodhi's ideology since he has himself become a true believer in the power of surfing (he tells Bodhi he still surfs every day), grants him his last request and allows him to die in the biggest wave of the century.


The perfect ending, right? Or is it? There have been rumblings for a while about a Point Break sequel tentatively titled Point Break: Indo and set in Indonesia. Directed by Jan de Bont (Speed, Speed 2: Cruise Control), the movie was supposedly going to feature "the most extreme action stunts ever caught on camera." The writer of the original wrote the sequel and production was set to start in mid-2008, but the project lost a lot of steam when Patrick Swayze contracted cancer and was sidelined from his acting career. Interesting to note - the movie would feature the return of Bodhi (he survived that wave? Not until I see the sequel on a big screen) but Johnny Utah would be replaced with a younger agent instead of having Reeves reprise his role. The admittedly-awful plot synopsis can be read here. I kind of hope they don't make this.

Finally, I just found out about a fantastic stage adaptation of the movie that takes place at a bar every weekend in LA (and now moving to Las Vegas) called The play puts the audience in an immersive experience "putting [the audience] in the water with surfers, throwing you out the door of an airplane, and robbing you at gunpoint." And the best part is that the actor who plays Johnny Utah is chosen at random from the crowd every night (man or woman) and reads all the lines off cue cards (as a jab to Keanu's acting ability). Sound awesome? That's because it is. I really hope this show survives for the next year or two until we can all road trip to Vegas to see it. Until next time...

[1] Swayze and Reeves trained for two months before shooting with a former professional surfer in Hawaii. He refused to use a stunt double for many of his surfing scenes and incurred four broken ribs while performing them. He also did his sky-diving scenes himself, with the trainer proclaiming him "a natural."

[2] Initially, Matthew Broderick and Charlie Sheen were to star with Ridley Scott behind the camera. I doubt very seriously they could have pulled off the iconic performances we now cherish from Point Break. What a different movie that would have been...